Saturday, April 20, 2013

Did I ruin my daughter?

After I had Kendra, I had 6 weeks of maternity leave before returning to work full time.

I have always wanted to be a stay at home mom, and it's still a goal that we are working towards. But its not something we can do right now.

So in my new mama mind, it felt like I had 6 weeks to give my new baby girl my undivided attention.
We did lots of cuddling and snuggling... and didn't leave the house much.
When she napped I would cuddle her and watch Netflix.

Now I have a 15 month old, that fights with sleep, and does best when she's snuggling with mommy and daddy. (I can't say that I blame her... I don't like sleeping alone.)

Her schedule (I use the word schedule very loosely) normally goes as follows:
9:30 nurse to sleep
10:00 lay her in her crib
and on a good night, she wakes up at 3:00 am fussing..
normally I can pick her up and pop a paci in her mouth and she will go right to sleep.
on a bad night, she's up 2 or 3 times and I give up trying to put her in her crib and just bring her to bed with me.

Did I ruin her by holding her so much in the first 6 weeks of her life?
Will she ever be a good sleeper?
Is this just a phase?

I don't regret all those nap time snuggles in her first 6 weeks..
I would probably do it again.
Who am I kidding... I still cuddle her during naps sometimes..

Do any of you have babies that aren't good sleepers? What are your tips and tricks?


  1. Nope, you didn't ruin her - babies need snuggles early in life. I have one that was never a good sleeper - even as an infant, you'd have to hold her still (think lock-grip) to get her to go to sleep; if she could move or look around, she wasn't having any part of it! She was 15 months before I could lay her in bed and she'd actually go to sleep; I tried the whole 'let her cry it out thing', and after literally HOURS of her screaming (I checked on her frequently, gave her her paci, etc.), I finally gave up on that. She was nearly 18 months before she consistently slept through the night; even now she has trouble sleeping, and she's six!

    On the other hand, my other one slept through the night fairly early, and while he liked being rocked he WOULD go to sleep without. He's also always been snugglier than her!
    Bottom line? Every kid is different. Some require more sleep than others - some require more snuggling than others. She'll sleep eventually! In the mean time, I know how tired it makes a mommy when you're getting up several times in the night... :( Hope it gets better more sooner than later!

    1. Hey Gillian. Thanks for your comment!
      I hope it gets better too.. it probably doesn't help that our life has been really hectic lately and she's cutting molars.
      Hope all is well with you and your crew!

  2. Sounds like you're describing Gracie :)

    I would say its a combination of a few things:
    1) some kids don't seem to need as much sleep OR aren't able to sleep like others do. Gracie is one of those... I understood this more as I've had more children & some of them actually LIKE to sleep! :)
    2) if it's bothering you & Justin's sleep you might try to improve that area of life... A nighttime routine is what began to help Gracie. Basically, plenty of time to wind down since that's their major problem...a story or quiet movie, singing songs & rocking, noise machine or fan (really helpful) etc
    3) you won't ruin her :) every mama mothers differently & there is room in this world for your personal style. My kids are very affectionate because their mama loves snuggles too. :). I'm thinking our girls will get caught up on their sleep when they're Tweens & teens :)

    I will be praying for you about it... Darrell was done with her being up so much do he's the one who encouraged me (ahem) to make changes. After we did, she was very very happy when she woke up well-rested. It had become sort of a control issue with her unfortunately.

    Love ya!

    1. as I was typing this I thought to myself "I should text Lizzie, I bet she has some advice!" because I remember you telling me about Gracie..

      Routine I think is probably a big factor to her, and we haven't had much of one lately.

      I miss seeing you often and I think of you lots!
      love ya!